My Testimony: It gets better!

Here's my testimony:

My name is Dakota and I'm 17 years old. And this is my story on how I overcame my depression and anger issues. When I was about 7 I moved to Vernon,Texas. I can remember that year I learned that boys didn't really have cooties and what sex really was. I was pinned down by a group of boys and they forced another boy to try to kiss me but then one of them went to their mom and started nasty rumors about my family. Well my social life in elementary was screwed after I turned like 8 or 9 after that. I moved to a place outside of Electra. It was in the middle of no where and that began the phase of being bullied. Now my family always seemed prefect, but in reality, my parents never talked, my dad was a drunk, my mom was so cyber fantasized with her world, that I sorta raised my sister from that point on. Eventually I became home schooled until my parents became divorced. That's where our little story takes place. My fear,anger,pain, resentment, all came on November 19, 2010. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was still home schooled and my mom left my dad with a rush of fear. I did have a boyfriend at the time for like two years. He's mom became a little too obsessed with me.Well, we stayed with his family for a while and then the kicked us out. My aunt came and saved us when they kicked us out. I began to grow cold. I had questions so many why questions. On February 2, 2011, I went to court with my parents. I told the judge I wanted to live with my mom and he said I would live with my dad. I cussed that judge out that night. I made him regret things that night. I didn't want to live with my dad. He was a drunk and already found a new women. She is called the step monster and will be throughout the entire story. I started public school the week after I was forced to live with my dad. I had hardly no friends in 7th grade. All the girls hated me and one friend was about to graduate. I'm still friends with him till this day and I consider him my best friend. His name is Tyler. The creator of this page. There was a week that I went to the a hospital because CPS found out that I tried to commit suicide. I was depressed. So I was there. That summer I began fighting with my mom and cutting. It was absolutely terrible. My therapist caught the cuts and had a lot to say. When my 8th grade year began I did everything possible to try and fit in. I made a group of friends and everything seemed okay until my health started to suck. I was on Zoloft and it had some long term symptoms. My health wasn't so great. I was always lightheaded and I wasn't eating a lot anymore. I was taken of Zoloft and the cutting stop with it. Just because the medication seemed to help my mood, I felt absolutely nothing. I was emotionally numb. After I was off the medicine for awhile, things weren't so bad. I mended up the relationship with my mom the summer after my 8th grade year. My freshmen year in high school started going to crap. My friends were leaving and I wanted to live with my mom. In January of 2012 I moved in with my mom. I was angry at my dad and I was hurt by his actions. I went to school with 3,500 other students when I moved with my mom. In March of that year I met a boy. And I liked this boy a lot. He turned my entire world upside down. I would have died for this boy. Then he cheated and we broke up constantly. I wanted to die after this point. I hated everything about myself because of him. I though I should have been more prettier, more skinny, etc. I was wrong. I learned my worth at a church camp and a mission trip during the summer after freshmen year. My mom and her boyfriend moved to another apartment that same year. I started another with almost 4,000 students. I was depressed at that school at the beginning because I didn't know anyone and no one wanted anything to do with a lost and confused girl. But I did met amazing people later on. They helped me through a lot. At the beginning of 2013, God took away 6 amazing people. In between all of that, I found myself depressed. I was really just done with the world and I thought I could take my life. So I tried choking myself. I wimped out. I was taken to a hospital but I was never admitted. That was in March. After school ended I went to Montana on a mission trip with friends and I found love for people and friends. I began to realize that life is going to knock me down and I just have to shake it off and keep going. It's never going to be easy. But it has been better for me. And I know if it's better for me. Then I know it's better for you. Keep fighting and know your worth. And know that even if you feel like no one loves you, I do even if I don't know you. Live life and enjoy it!

Here's to the Guys!

I read this article about the battle young men and even older men in general are facing. It explains how men every where are facing a battle of temptation. And the more I read different articles and talk to different people about this battle I realize so much more about guys.

I once went to a all girls bible study.And what I am about to say comes from a guys point of view and are all anonymous. These are some of the things I heard that stood out to me and for the young women reading this, it some tips for you.

•  One of the young men said everyday going to school that he battles with temptation when he see's a girls outfit. He once said that he had seen a young women's stomach that he was fighting the thought of undressing her with his eyes. He is constantly always looking away and trying to keep his thoughts pure.
• Other young men were saying that that even a peek of a unseen skin leads them to dark thoughts.
• Most guys want to truly like a women's personality but it's so hard with the way women are dressing bow days. Examples are: booty shorts, crop tops, tight mini skirt,tight dresses, etc. You know the kind of outfits. We see them all the time. 
• Porn and the way women are exposed give even more temptation. It devalues women everywhere and so then men devalue women.

Thank you gentlemen for pushing through this battle. It's been tough. And I promise you, IT WILL PAY OFF! Keep fighting! I know it's hard but please don't give up.

Now this is my message to young girls every where. 

WE CONSTANTLY COMPLAIN ALL GUYS ARE THE SAME BECAUSE THEY WANT SEX OR WHATEVER, YET WE DRESS THE PART!

I understand it is hard to not want the cutest look or the new style that just came out. But would it be worth it to degrade ourselves as women? NO! It's simply not. So lets cut to the point. If we want men to treat us better and look at us better then we need to start acting like the women we are called to be by God. I know that temptation is hard and it's a battle, but we have to turn it around. We need to be the proverbs 31 women we have been called to be. It's going to be a harder battle. But we need to make the battle easier for men too. 

So this is my rant. And I do apologize for not being active and I promise you I will be back a lot more. Okay I'll try. I'll talk to you here soon! Bye! 

My Current State of Mind

I'm not psycho, I can promise you this, but I am crazy. Just a tad. These past several months have been just crazy. I can't even begin to tell you the trials that I have faced. And trust me its not over yet.
February was pretty crazy losing some good friends. God, take care of them. In March I lost a few more. And that's when I spiraled out of control. Sometimes life is just to much for me to bear. And that time period I was so close to the edge again. April and May were just my "I really don't care about you and your stupid life. I have my own to deal with, asshole" months. June came and that was actually really fun. I had a blast with some friends, my heart kind of changed my way of thinking and I became a little kinder to people. But I wasn't complete better until I decided to make the courageous decision to get on a plane with a bunch of crazy teenagers to Montana. I think that was the trip that changed me the most. We had some amazing leaders and amazing people on that trip! Montana was too beautiful! It was amazing and I miss it so much. It was probably the best trip I've ever had! I laughed and I learned to love. I still don't like most people but I've learned to love them even when they can be complete morons.
  But what I really felt like talking about was what's happening tonight. Because honestly I'm so tired of crying of this bullshit. Sometimes fighting over everything is pointless and that's what this person is doing. I don't normally post shit about people but I need to vent were people will hear me.
  Every time I turn around, she argues about every little thing. Then thinks its okay five minutes later when I am already mad. YOU DON'T DO THAT! LIKE EVER! I mean come on. Don't sit there and argue about your new school or clothes, OR ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT COMES TO MIND! It's pathetic. And then get mad when I decide to walk away and fight even more. Or when I do get mad and argue back. I can't win with you! Just stop it doesn't work anymore. You cry and complain when I don't talk to you but push me away when I try too. I'm sorry, Sweetie, it doesn't work that way anymore.
  Sorry for unleashing all of this on you guys but it's something that bothers me. Just saying. But ya'll have a great and beautiful evening/morning/day/night! Love you guys!

Make a Trial into Triumph!

Next in my little speech is turning a trial into triumph. And just like turning a test into a testimony. Even through it may be hard doing so. Life gets hard and even when it does our faith goes to God.

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace" -Ephesians 1:7
We all have a trial that we are put through. God puts us through these things to test our strength, faith, and love. And I will show you how importance these things are.

Faith-belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings.
What does it mean to have faith? Well to me, it means to put your faith in the hands of God. And that can be hard. But just do it! Like Nike! :)

Strength- a moral power or courage.
Being strong? That's when prayer comes in. Pray and keep praying! It's hard but not that impossible! So have faith and pray. He will give you comfort during your trial.

And finally!!

Love- a deep burning emotion that shows affection.
In everything I do and in everything that has happened. I have learned that you're going to need people who love you around. And when they show you love. You learn love and then nothing is impossible. But the love of a savior is the best thing to have. And if you don't have a savior well, pray for Jesus to come into you're heart. Just comment on this and I will give you more details.


Well everyone! Hope to be back soon! Love you guys! Have a good night or day!

Love Song for A Savior by Jars of Clay :)

Turning a Test into a Testimony 1

Hey guys!

So I am starting a 3 part series. And this is the first part of the first one.  I will included a little bit of my testimony in this series but also on how to get there. This is my opinion on it and you don't have to agree. You can think whatever. And I am sorry for the fact that I haven't posted in a long time. I keep wanting to write but I can't seem to do it. So I am really sorry.

So how do you turn a test into a testimony? That's a interesting question. And I am glad I can find a way to give you my opinion. Now I wa t to say if you get offended, please understand this isn't to offend anyone.  So now I began my series!

Biblically speaking a test is a hardship you go through so God can show you He there. Many of times I have a gone through variest tests that God has given m. I'm stilll learning. A lot of the times I refuse to listen but I do get on my knees when things reach the boiling point. Times will rough. You just have to pray and know that God will be there. And that's just one way you can create your testimony.
This doesn't mean take a test at school and be like oh I have a testimony. If I find out you did that, I might throw THE book your way! Like that is stupid. I know a lot of my church friends actually do pray before their tests. And thats fine but taking a test won't give you a testimony. Maybe a joke but it will not get taken seriously.
  When I was 14 to  15, I did go through a hardship. And I know they don't like the fact I know a lot about thier relationship problems but my step mom and my daddy fought a lot. One night the cops were called on them. But I would always get dragged into the fighting. Mainly by her. Ever since I lived with my mom, I learned that I should not take sides and I created my own opinions about things. I actually choose to bash my dad. But in all honesty I was just trying to get rid of her. I hate her and I don't like anything she does know. But during my time being, I tried my best to distracted by playing sports, involing myself with my friends. The fighting between the two was really rough. And my sister was depressed. I couldn't stand to be in the shoes I was wearing. I was depressed and unhappy. I was fighting. I saw my rights. I knew I had to get out. During that time, I strated praying and praying. Nothing changed. Nothing happened. I began to doubt, which is the biggest mistake in the entire world. Little did I know, that when I fought back against my dad and my dad kicked me out. God did answer my pray. Yet I realized that a little too late. Like 6 months after words. But little did I know that test, became a huge detail in my testimony. Which is large, knowing the fact that I have been through a lot. And praying is a huge deal in order to make your test turn into a testimony. But thank you God for that! I give you so much praise!!!

So I hope you enjoyed this. I will be back for the second part in this small series! Love you, guys! Sorry for not keeping updated!! 


-Christian Girl :)

My Days....

I've been busy with school and work, so it's been hard to keep up with this. Well anyways, I don't have an job now. I will go into more details with that later on. And school. I hate it. To much crap that goes on with it. I have noticed  that I have become more anti-social and I like it that way.

 So a couple weeks back I found out my grades were good but not college good. Like I almost failed a couple of my classes. I was greatful I have some awesome teachers who helped me out with that! :D But with that being said my job had to go bye bye. I am really greatful for leaving it. The boss was unbearable sometimes. Even though I don't work there anymore, she is always on my case about being happy. She gets into my bussiness a little too much. Okay, wayyyy to much. But I decided to work on my grades and I am greatful for that.

During my Christmas break, I didn't talk to many people. And I actually felt pretty good. I hate big crowds and my phone stayed on the charger for most of the break. With that being said, I stopped wanting a relationship with a guy. Whats the point if, I know I am young and it will come on it's own. Sigh, life is crazy now. :(

But there is just an update. Hope ya'll enjoy! Adios!

Orphan Sunday

Most people are going to disagree with me on this one, but I have a good reason for this. Orphan Sunday, the day churches show people who orphans and adoption is all about. I disagree with this day on veriest levels of today's society. Starting with the top three reasons with why I hate adoption.

• Adoption is a very corrupt and dark thing. It works for some kids and people but if you think about, children from other countries are stolen, we pay for children, and some adoption agency's like to take kids from perfectly fit mothers. Adoption is not a very good thing. I won't start with religion here.
• Adoptees get pissed real easy. Most states don't allow access to birth certificates, medical history or any background information to the adoptees.
• And last adoption makes money and it isn't right. For a kid here in the U.S, no one wants them or they are cheap. Kids from other countries, well most people want them because they are from another country.

Most of you are going to think she doesn't know what she is talking about. Well sadly I do. I grew up with my mom searching for her mom and her true self. I also have a lot of friends from my mom who are adopted and have been fighting for open access for their rights as adoptees to have their information. (second bulliten)

 Now on to the religous portion of adoption. God calls us to help orphans and widows. As Christians, are we really doing that? Sure some churches have adoption agencys that put kids into good Christian homes but that is not how God intented it to be, is it? Nope. Not at all. If a mother dies or gives up her kid we should be able to sign some papers and the kid is in the new home but no. WE HAVE TO PAY FOR THE DANG KID!  I'm sorry, God never intented it to be this way. Adoption is not bibe based. Sorry to break the news to you. This is one topic that pisses me off and I needed to vent about it.

Most of my church friends are going to not like this and call me crazy but I'm serious this isn't right and no one is going to understand if they don't know the damn facts. I am tired of arguing with damn people who think I am wrong when the way things are now prove it wrong.

One thing that started this rampage is my bible study teacher disagrees with me not going tomorrow. I am liable to walk out of that dang service or stand up and yell "Bull s***" Because bible verses what these people think is right. Want me to preach, I can do it all night long and still leave upset. I am very short tempered person, I have been able to control it but I am dead serious when this happens. I am done for the night! Thanks guys!

-Jesus Freak