Emo much??

I love how everyone honestly thinks I am happy. I am not.I get pissed and still get depressed. I feel like crying right now. All I know is I have been cut deep and it is still pouring. I can't be happy when I feel like healing doesn't even exist.  I actually feel like cutting myself. You think my mom could handle that. Now all she thinks is putting me in a mental hospital will help. Ha, no it won't. They don't shit there. I would know. I have been there. They give you medicene and think well your happy now leave. No it doesn't go like that.
 I am also pissed at the world because no one understands that the pain is seeping even futher and it isn't getting any better. I am just about to blow again. Tears begin to roll down my cheek and I still cry myself to sleep sometimes. It has gotton better. I have kept everything inside. I still do. No one wants to hear what I have to say. No one cares. People have it in their thick heads you talk about it. Your fine. But NO. It doesn't go like that. Muliply times I have discussed my issues with therepists and my parents. Talking doesn't help much anymore either. I think now no matter what happens. I am going to end up in a grave. Some people are going to think this is about a boy. But it's not. It's deeper than that. It is like a razor buried deep in my skin trying to cut open to just scream at people. Normal people don't understand!! They think that I am fine but I am not.

 I FEEL LIKE PUNCHING MY DAD, STEP-MOM, SISTERS, WHORES AT MY SCHOOL & ANYONE ELSE WHO LIKE TO GET IN MY WAY!!!!

This world would be a lot better place without over dramtic people like the girls at my school or my father. It would makes the world better if everyone just stup up and quit talking so much. I am the talk of the school because of a boy. And I get called a slut because I like him?? If I could push certain people of this planet I would. I wish people would just leave me alone.
  I try not to listen to what people say but sometimes it becomes to much. It over comes my own thoughts and than it becomes to much to listen to.
 My little sister who can be the biggest little brat there is, also likes to be one of those people. She won't shut up. Its Me this and Me that. If I had a dollar for everytime I want to hit her, I'd be rich. Just saying. She wants to keep up her attuitude that fine, I will knock it right out of her.
I am logging off now. Bye

-The pissed!