Great Days Right?

  For once, I have felt happy. I decided today that I was going to right a letter to my dad. This is what I wrote.

I have felt like I was suffocating while I was living with you for awhile. I need someone to talk. That person happened to be Mom. I didn't do it so I could live with you. I did so I could be a little happier with myself. There isn't a need for talking, I feel like you don't listen. I was unhappy. I was unhappy because of the way Cheyenne and I were being treated. Cheyenne was constantly hurting and I felt like you made things worse. Chey has a senstive heart. She is like you in so many ways.

I don't want to visit you because of 2 reasons. You kicked me out and told me you never wanted to see me again. And I don't want to talk to you. I was never playing games. I am not like you. I am not that cruel or that low. I love my new school and I have many friends. I know that may hurt you. You have been hurting me for a long time.

I am not selfish. I am not cruel. I called you a fake beacsue I feel like you only want Cheyenne and me for money. I have caught different times where it sounded like you wanted us for money. I don't want to live with you or Lisa. I feel like I am the cause of everyone's issues's. For the longest of time I felt like everyone was rude to me so I became rude to everyone else. I was putting up a wall to help myself. You took the smallest deal and turn into a useless, unnesscery fight. Like everything else. There is no need to respond to this.Because I honestly feel like you won't care and won't understand.

I do love you. I don't hate you. I was tired of being treated like a dog to kick around. That's how I felt. I am done with this. You can think, "Oh, Amy is influecing her" or "She is acting like a brat." I honeslty don't care what you or anyone else there thinks anymore. And, I DON'T HATE LISA! I never have. I don't agree with some of the stuff she does but that is normal for a teenagar. I felt like her daughters we're always put first in your eyes. I felt like when Cheyenne and I needed something it was always me paying for it. Honeslty, I was tired of ya'll fighting and feeling like I was being put last.

I have feelings and again I was abandon by you. When I needed you the most you kicked me out. What makes you think I would want to talk to you or even visit you after what you have told me? Think about this and understand. It's not all about your feelings. There is Cheyenne's and mine. If you can't understand this than there is no point in my coming back. I lost my home when I came back 2 years ago. I finally feel at home for once. I don't want that to change. Goodbye Dad.

 

Knowing myself I was getting mad typing this. My father will not know why I wrote this and will get made over this. Did I do the right thing? I feel better and I hope that will subside the anger. I haven't felt this much better since I left. I am logging off now. Goodbye.

 

-The Helpless