I Know

Today has been pretty rough on me. It was okay and than I got into a fight with my little sister. She clawed my back and arms. It didn't hurt that much but the girl needs her nails trimmed. She is a freaking cat.
 I know, I acted up today. I knew I had to do laundry and I just didn't want to go. Because, I honestly hate doing laundry, But I complained and acted like my sister and I seriously pissed off my mom's boyfriend. I didn't mean to. What really hurt, was I went to go back and get the grocrey list and find that my mom's boyfriend is gone. That is what hurt me. He just took off and left. I felt abandon, AGAIN! I really hate feeling this feeling it hurts.
  I know I am not prefect and I know I will piss people off. I am pretty good at it. I have my beliefs. Don't we all? I am kinda mad and I just really feel like crying and all. I don't want to cry. I am just going to leave everyone alone. I just really can't take judement. Where they right? Am I really that bad? I am going insane right now. I just can't let myself get hurt again.
  If I have to go back to my dad's I don't think I will make it out alive. I just keep having dark feeling about things. I don't know if I will ever truely be happy again.
 Damnnit Satan! Stop that crap! This is all your fault! Go to hell! Go fall in a hole and die! Please my life was fine before you came into it and ruin it all! I had a happy life!
This song I am about to put up is by my favorite band. Tokio Hotel. They are an awesome german band! The song is about suicide. I honestly wish my father would have done this. I feel like my dad. I wish things had been really different.

If I could wish for anything, it's to have someone like that, be that to me. Yet, the one person I looked up cheated me out. Kicked me out. Tore my whole world out my heart. I have never felt so cold hearted than I have been. I have become someone I never wanted to become.
 Things will or may not be the same from now on.

I have a very iced broken heart. If it even exists anymore. My heart was tooken out a very long time ago. Though the theif hates me and won't speak to me. I don't care to retrive it. I know I will lose it again. I know the out come of things for me and I just can't see my future. I am trying not to see things like this but I am. I am going to sleep. Goodnighht.