I listen to a lot of up beat music. I just come across one of those songs were it fits with everything I feel. The more I talk about my dad. The more anger I feel. I blow up. I can't stay clam. I feel like I have to punch the wall or something. Everything he has said to me. Has hurt me servely. He doesn't care though. It isn't in his nature to care. Like it's not in his nature to be a father. He doesn't need to be one. And I am sorry if you think he does. You don't live with him. You don't feel the pain I do. This is one song I feel is right for this moment.
I really feel this way. I just can't help the anger I have for my Dad. He created it. He wanted all of this. One day, he will get what he deserved. A frying pan to the freaking head. I love Tangled. That's where I got the frying pan. So, look up Floers to a Ghost by Thriving Ivory. It is something amazing. Music has been my best friend though all of this. I just have a lot on my mind tonight. I just don't know how to get it off my mind. I wanna sleep. I wanna be in peace for once with my soul and pain. This is just so frusating!!! All the constant pain. All the anger. I need a brick wall to punch. I don't care if I btreak my hand. I will be happy. Sigh. Maybe I need to log off.
Everything with my mom. I am always trying to be strong for her. I just can't help but want to cry. I wish I was never born at times. I wish I could make everyone's suffering come to an end. That is God's job anyways. At times, I feel like He doesn't listen. I need to escape from my mind for awhile.
Well, Goodnight everyone.
-The Hurt and Angered
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