Torn Apart but Happy

My heart keeps on breaking. There seems to be no more tears. I guess for the first time in this long, agging, painful, time I smiled because I knew I would be happy in the end. I don't know if I will write anymore post. I might. I have a special friend. She has always been there and I love her to death. She can't take the fact I am leaving. She accepts the fact I am leaving. I love her to death. Also another one. she is witty and crazy. She amazing as all get out! I love both these girls to death. It's hard to lose them. I know what is being done. I understand it all to well.
  I am excited to go to school somewhere new. Hopefully I can take some of the classes I at my old school. I have hope from this point on. I have lot's of hope. I am going to start a new thing about healing and all that. I am going to trying to forgive myself, my dad, my mom, my sister, and everyone who has ever hurt me deeply. It's going to be a long journey. Atleast I know I won't get told I am playing games, I won't get told that its all in my head, that this is how I feel or nothing like that no more. I just broke free from a grip I have had on me for so long. I know what I see and I see what I know. Well here is a song I really feel is perfect for this mess.

Faint by Linkin Park



I am a little bit of loneliness a little bit of disregard
Handful of complaints but I can’t help the fact that everyone can see these scars
I am what I want you to want what I want you to feel
But it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you, to just believe this is real
So I let go, watching you, turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I got

[Chorus]
I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't change this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

I am a little bit insecure a little unconfident
Cause you don't understand I do what I can but sometimes I don't make sense
I am what you never wanna say but I've never had a doubt
It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear me out
So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do
Face away and pretend that I'm not
But I'll be here 'cause you're all that I've got

[Chorus]
I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't change this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

No
Hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me, like it or not
Right now
Hear me out now
You're gonna listen to me, like it or not
Right now

I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

[Chorus]
I can't feel the way I did before
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't change this damage anymore
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

I can't feel
I Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored
Time won't change
Don't turn your back on me
I won't be ignored

I guess I am going to bed. Tomorrow is my last day at school. I have to turn things in and tell the teachers there is no point in giving me my work becasue I am moving. Sigh. well Goodnight!

-The Helpless